quinnfabary:

I think my dad heard me crying cause he just cracked open my door and slid a piece of cake on the floor into my room

brvdleysoileau:

how is “slut” even an insult wtf get that dick grl

toinfinityandbeyonce:

exchanging sexual favors for chinese food

bedquest:

dear fucking tumblr

this is a fucking bumblebee

this is a fucking bee

this is a fucking hornet

this is a fucking wasp

as you can fucking see the longer their legs are and the less fuzzy they are is equivalent to how fucking evil they fucking are

satans-fabulous-blog:

morphingly:

brightredkettle:

are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes

with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks

That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.

lcate:

*sells my virginity at a yard sale*

— Emilie Autumn (via fakeville)